Mental Health: Depression
Depression is a mood disorder. Clinically diagnosed patients will experience negative emotional, behavioral, and physical symptoms. The suffering it causes upon the individual and the individuals family and friends are extreme. Please consult a doctor if you are showing signs of depression lasting longer than two weeks. The serious habitual damage it causes on the psyche deepens over time.
Symptoms of Depression:
Self hate leading to suicidal thoughts, excessive fatigue, lack of motivation, disinterest in physical and social activities, hopelessness, anger and anxiety etc.
Fixation on a subject or an object.
Symptoms of Obsession
Repetitive uncontrollable thoughts, fixation on an idea, person, or object.
A common mental health disorder associated with obsession is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
Depression and Obsession:
As I’ve recovered from manic, and seasonal depression, I’ve noticed the correlation of depression and obsession. Purely speculative and based on personal experience when I have given up on my obsessions I enter a state of depression.
I am highly attached and obsessed with health and wellness. Health to me is attributed to creative productivity, balanced interpersonal socialization, activity, and quality positive and neutral perspectives on situations and people (I am not saying I need to like everything people do or say, but an appropriate perspective is important).
When health and wellness is not fulfilled my equilibrium is distorted. If my equilibrium is distorted for enough time it becomes a mental health issue. It develops into habitual (behavioral) depression, in other words a form of habit obsession. Obsessing over the negative thoughts which lead to the symptoms listed above under Depression Symptoms.
Although it isn’t accurate to take ownership of the mental illness under discussion as the title indicates, for purpose of explanation it is ‘my depression’, and it is conducted as follows:
Socialization is a key disinterest when I am in this state. I’d rather sit and dwell on the negative graspable content passing by my conscience. I begin to see people under a microscope. As if I can predict their conversation topics and what they will say and conclude it pointless to take part. An angry reaction will up rise, and I will end up offending someone. Socializing is an important key to health, and acceptance of others contributions to a conversation is also important.
Physical Activity when in this state is not prioritized. It is all together not forgotten, but if I were to be physically active depression would have trouble developing.
Crappy Perspectives begin to develop in unison with the depressive symptoms. Lack of motivation ensues, and it is justified because in a depressive state you are not good enough and in my particular depression and obsession I am too good for this world. The paradox downward spirals until I am completely not good enough because at some point in the spiraling I realize the ego behind my thoughts.
With careful analysis of my symptoms and counseling there is no permanent cure for mental illness, but I’ve found ways of working with it. One is by realizing that habit leads to success or failure, and that obsessions lead to disappointment which lead to negative habits of depression. With positive mental habit training like used by meditation practitioners, one can work with any mental illness. It is hard work, but as I paraphrase Jack Kornfield “Mindfulness meditation is not an act of labor, but an act of love.”